Celebrating the “Awesome, Splendid Mess” of Marriage

By Carol Lynn Pearson

June is traditionally the month of weddings. Who would have thought even a few years ago that some of those weddings could be for our dear ones who are gay? Amazing new doors have opened and couples who used to have to meet in dark places can now celebrate their love out in the open, smiling for all to see.

Everyone benefits from this. Society gets more stable units in which two are committed to care for each other. Families get to know that their dear gay one receives the careful attention of someone who loves them. And the two now-legally joined spouses can list benefit upon benefit, most importantly that superb blessing of being seen as two whose relationship is equally valued and equally supported by the state and by family and friends.

And now the newly married gay couple can join the rest of humanity in that awesome, splendid mess that marriage turns out to be—that invitation to learn and to grow and to forgive and to rejoice in an intimate commitment found nowhere else.

Here is a poem I wrote for a gay friend a few years ago. This is what I hope for all.


Now that the law of Leviticus
And the law of the land
Have made way for
The law of Love–

Let it be the same in our hearts
And in our home.

Let the law of ego that says
I am right
Open to the law of spirit that says
I am Love.

Let the law of entropy that says
Delight and awe must wind down
Like an old watch
Become the law of spring that says
In the eyes of my Beloved
All things are made new again.

Let the law of gravity that makes heavy
Even our thoughts
Become the law of heaven where
All is light.

Today let us winnow out the illusions
Pride, sadness, fear.
The law is on our side
In our hearts
In our home
There is room only for the real:
You and me and Love.

–Carol Lynn Pearson


Carol Lynn Pearson is prolific author, writing poetry, plays, and non-fiction. Her book, Goodbye, I Love You, is about the death of her gay husband from AIDS in 1986. In 1989, she began performing Mother Wove the Morning, a one-woman play in which she performs sixteen women throughout history in search of the female face of God. Her musical, My Turn on Earth, is one of the most beloved and successful Mormon musicals of all time. Carol Lynn has spent virtually all of her years since Goodbye, I Love You as an advocate for both women and gays within Mormonism.